Pursuing Love

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for my heart

January 25, 2015

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Sometimes I just need a good song, and some encouragement.

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The journey of Grief - 1

It's been a long 3 months. Honestly harder than i thought they'd be. As someone who feels but checks boxes (gets things done) to cope (protect myself) nothing prepared me for the loss of my dad even though i had a feeling it was coming soon - But why i realized just 5 minutes ago, I've held my dad dying as a fear as a child. So maybe all this grief has been bottled up for 51 years I started listening to a podcast by Anderson Cooper about grief and Ashley Judd talked about when her mother died she also grieved death from a childhood loss and that hit me. Top all that grief off like a cherry on top of a Sundae, i have a particularly stressful job. It was a recipe for a depressive incident. I knew i wasn't doing well - I stopped wanting to eat. Went through the motions of what I'm called to do (i was really resenting making lunches for the homeless but God didn't say i could stop so i didn't), i didn't particularly like doing Margie Mail. But i tho

Miss Shirley

Today I went into the bank. I hate going into the bank. I hate waiting, I hate going out into the cold, and besides, I'm always afraid the bank is going to be robbed. However, today was different. I walked through the metal detector and it allowed me in. I was waiting, I have a limited time to go to the bank due to the fact that I have to go on my lunch hour. (Please note, if you do not work outside the home, please do all of us working outside the home moms/wives a favor and don't shop or bank between 11:30 and 1PM - you're killing me!) So... back to the bank.... Miss Shirley was there. She was taking quite awhile... she was jibber jabbering away... and then it came. Jesus and blessings. For 5 minutes she went on and on about blessings and how God blesses us. Oh, thank you Jesus. I needed to be slowed down. I needed to hear someone PROCLAIM His love! Oh! thank You Jeses for Miss Shirley! She is a blessing to all those who are around her! Matthew 5:14 14"You are the

Moments

I feel like everyone wants something different for their lives... Married wish they were single Single wish they were married. As a people i think we are never satisfied which can be great or bad depending on how you look at it. Sometimes there are moments in my life that no matter how much good I've done, i will never ever deserve. Tonight we did a trunk or treat. The theme of my trunk was Encanto. My car was kind of "bad news bears-ish" because I'm not great at those things but i made it work and kids loved it so.... I was "Luisa" and nieces were all the other characters. In my normal fashion i had so much candy! Which, after all, is why we were there! I had started the Soundtrack over and the girls all started singing while i was restocking everyone's buckets! The girls all started singing and my heart was overwhelmed. In that very moment my heart was full and i thought "there's no way i deserve this beautiful moment" The

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