Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, September 02, 2015


Yesterday I sat at my desk after yelling at two different people. And I don’t mean “yelling” like just telling someone something that they didn’t want to hear, I mean YELLING!  And I threw my headphones.  Ugh.

I started thinking oh stupid gentleness. Test failed.  EVERY week, we study a part of the fruit of the spirit and the last couple weeks, I’ve been failing every “pop quiz” that has come my way.  I know that I can’t be more like Jesus if I don’t work on these fruit. I know it, and each test is a way to get better at what God knows we need to be more like Him.

I felt so defeated, and you might think it’s dumb but I cried. “I’m never gonna get this stupid fruit I’m like clay soil that nothing grows in!”.  I might have been being a tad over dramatic but I really did feel so defeated.  Ugh. 

So I put in a podcast, a teaching by Bruxy Cavey at the meeting house.  There is something about how he breaks things down, God’s love that we should share and it’s for us too!  So by the end of the first podcast I listened to, I was feeling better.  Breathing in Jesus.  Knowing I failed but also knowing His mercies are new every minute not just every morning.  I’m not perfect but I love The One who is!  And He loves me!!

Also I have been feeling kind of crummy lately.  Too many unwise choices at BBQs and other places.  Garbage in, Garbage Out.  So I decided that I would start making better choices… but wasn’t going to track…  Now, let me tell you, for me, that is not a wise choice.  I need to track my food… I just do, I do not do well if I don’t.    So I decided to enter it all at the end of the day.  That could have been awful. Just plain awful, but thankfully it wasn’t.  And I felt good, that I made good choices, and they paid off.  Today, I input my food BEFORE I packed it into my cooler for breakfast and lunch, which is even wiser.

Both of my issues are “heart issues”.  I’m angry because my heart isn’t right in all areas and I make poor eating choices because it isn’t right too.  I normally would just “chuck” the day but yesterday I decided, I didn’t need the hard reset of tomorrow (which I usually choose), I decided right that second to do a hard reset.  There was no point in waiting, only more damage to myself and others would be done if I went on the current path.  But that won't help anyone, especially me.  So I have to stop, and pray, and do what I know to do, it makes me stronger. (2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. )

Later on yesterday I went for a walk with a dear friend and we just talked, where we are (not perfect) and where we’d like to be (Perfect). You know, that sometimes I am just a hot mess. A hot ugly mess, and yet, God works in me.  And He used this friend to remind me not be a jerk, but to be who He is creating to me to be, right where I am.  He has sent His spirit to speak to my heart to keep my light burning for Him.  

Today, I am thankful for a God who never gives up, loves me enough to correct me, and set me on the right path.  He is a Faithful Father and I am thankful for His grace. 

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Monday, August 24, 2015

A small accomplishment

So yesterday I was walking around our church neighborhood and I noticed this building that's across the street from the school right near our church. The front is still standing but the back is burnt out and it looks like a jungle. 

You know how in our lives we can't unhear something or unsee something ?

Well last year when we were signing up for Life Remodeled I remembered that one of the speakers had said that girls couldn't ride the bus because the street lights were burnt out and the areas were so over grown that they were getting kidnapped. And you know what? That's not ok with me. It's just not and I make no apologies for that. 

And so when I saw that crazy jungle that really wasn't ok with me either. And I make no apologies for that. So i posted about it and some friends said they would help!  I have to pick a day.  But in the mean time... All day that building was on my heart. So I came home and made dinner and decided to go... Do something. 

All I have is mostly gardening tools lol. You'd be surprised what a willing attitude and a pair of hand pruning sheers can do!!!

I know that people talk to me and think I'm nuts and sometimes make fun of me. They do, I hear them, but I don't care. I laugh right along with them, because I know it's weird. 
I know it's weird to think I can change the world. I'm just a single mom who has not much. And when it comes to talent, a frying pan, a broom, and some small gardening tools is all I got. But sometimes, it's just small things that we need to make a difference to someone. 

You see, I know that it was just a couple bushes today, and next week it might be a bigger area, but now I know there isn't a place for someone to hide to harm children, or no little varmits  will be hiding those bushes that carry disease. And that means tonight, I can sleep a little easier, until tomorrow when it's time to do something else.  

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”  1 John 3:18 NIV

Monday, August 17, 2015

Meal Planning for the next two weeks!

Last meal planning was great!  I was flexible and realized I planned too many meals but it was good because my freezer is stocked up and so is the pantry.  I am slowly putting food up. Peaches this week, and some green beans.  And I have no pinto beans, black beans,  or red beans canned (how did that happen!!)
Monday:  Brats, green peppers & onions, and leftovers

Tuesday:  BBQ chickenpizza (from leftovers and I'll make my own crust) after I get home from serving at MBK (Fried Chicken, Mashed taters, and Corn)

Wednesday:  Spaghetti (frozen sauce leftover from my trip to Roma's the other day)

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday:  Wedding

Saturday:  Chicken Stir Fry

Sunday:  Lunch: church BBQ

                Dinner:  Tacos

Monday:  Chicken on the BBQ

Tuesday: Out with Ivonne

Wednesday:  Sesame noodles (a version of this) and chicken

Thursday:  leftovers
Friday:  ?

Saturday:  Sprinkle for The Groves Family

Sunday, August 16, 2015

I love my church

I really love my church. I have had moments when I've been really proud of what we do "as the church", I'm thankful for two pastors who bring it every week, our worship team loves Jesus, a group of children's staff and youth ministry that loves and cares for the kids. 

We are small but mighty. 

I love that it seems that everyone serves in our church in some capacity. From the kids ministry inside our church so people can hear the word to those who faithfully serve twice a week to the homeless. We love.

That's what I love about our church. 

I love that God lives and breathes in each of us, and we exhale, Him.

There was a group of us who sat in my garage today as we wished our friend "hasta pronto" I thought how absolutely blessed I was to be a part of this little group. A group of people who love Jesus and do their best to live has He has called us.

So as this night closes, I find myself so very thankful

Saturday, August 15, 2015

There's fruit in the waiting

Do you ever just wait for something?

And you want it so bad? 

I hate waiting. 

Sometimes I want to skip to the end just to see what happens?

Does the boy get the girl? 

The end is always great but the story is always greater.

One of my favorite quotes is from the book "greater" by Steven Furtick, he's the lead pastor at Elevation Church. "You'll never get to greater until you are willing to leave good enough behind". It's one of the quotes on my white board at work.  Honestly there aren't too many actual work things on that board lol, program volume, SOP (start of production), and some random names I can never remember but always seem to need.

While I'm waiting I always try to remember that God is preparing me. 

I had a dream a few weeks ago about this guy, and he said "I wish I
Would have met you sooner" and I smiled and said "but I wasn't ready" lol like i was chicken that wasn't ready, still raw inside. The truth is that was the absolute truth. God has down some crazy things in life in the last 10 years but I can say that even in the last three or even the last year my heart is overwhelmed by the healing that has taken place so that I can love more. 

It's certainly not always easy but the work He has done in my heart means I carry around a fruit basket and don't chuck it at people. 

You don't make jam until the fruit is ripe. 

Friday, August 14, 2015

Thankful ramblings

Today was a great day and one of those that I just feel so incredibly thankful for.

I went to Blocks, which if you get the chance to go anyway but the weekend is enough to be thankful for.  And I got stocked up on some things (like my 50 lbs of potatoes!!!) and lots of different veggies! We love beets and I was able to get a big box and we will roast them for dinners. I'm gonna make sour pickles that are good for digestion... And a few other things to get ready for the shin dig on Sunday that will be at our house. Just  don't wear your "farm Detroit" shirt because tons of people will ask you questions because they think you work there. Lol

I found myself so thankful that I can cook for my family and friends. And I can do it on a budget.  And I'll store food up for the winter.

And I needed to go to aldi for normally stocked items in our freezer and pantry. I've really missed my girls Ava and Lana so I swung by their house and asked them if they wanted to go grocery shopping. Now I laughed because you would have thought I asked them to go to cedar point. They were so excited! I mean that's how cool I am haha but really I guess it doesn't matter what you do when you love someone, as long as you're together <3

Later Quin is coming over and we are going to Sam's club to get some things he and his beautiful bride to be need for their wedding. And I'm making lunch :) I'm thankful to help them and able to spend time with him!!

Im thankful today <3

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Understand your "attacks"

Did you ever have a time in your life when maybe "the enemy" came after you? I personally don't like to give the devil too much credit but I don't ever doubt that there is one and he'd like to distract us. 

I happen to be in a time of preparation, learning, resting (for me), listening. And I feel like in the last week the enemy has tried to distract me. I could tell you stories, but I won't... Sometimes it's hurtful and sometimes it's amusing. I just think "I must be on the right track or he wouldn't be working hard to shove me off in front of the train.

So... In the past week, I've had a couple "things" come at me, things that would have been considered "big guns" in the past... But I know who I am! I know who God made me to be, I have learned that things that seem "like big guns" are only distractions, they are like water guns and so it's important to know what we are fighting against.  I just had to blow dry my super cute hair after that "attack" lol 

I thankful for the times that I rest and spend time with Jesus! 

And now I'm singing the jingle "on the right track to nine mile and Mack"

Eph 6:10-17 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.